Daily Presence: You Need to Train It Like a Muscle at the Gym

The process of creating a new relationship with your body after childhood sexual abuse can be mundane sometimes.

Why?

It requires repetition. The repetitive training of daily presence as a muscle and skill that we want to grow and strengthen to supports sexual presence.

Just like going to the gym, there are ways that we can make it a more pleasurable experience and then there are some days that it doesn't matter how cute the outfit is, its just gonna suck and you're banking on discipline or the embodied repetition to get you there because if you don't go, you may not feel the difference the first day but eventually, you will.

In the Somatic Sexual Voice Integration System, the Daily Presence Practice structure is like your gym and going through the process is the equivalent of a training session. Each part of the process is an exercise that you do a rep of and the more you train in the process the stronger, literally, your body gets. 

You get stronger in:

• Identifying sensations in your body

• Breathing deeply and with more control

• Voicing what your body is comminucating 

• A higher tolerance for self touch and looking at yourself 

So, how do we make the process more pleasurable similar to the gym?

Here are a few tips:

• Have a playlist ready of music you love to move to

• Get a beautiful notebook and pens just for your daily presence practice 

• Wear loose fabric, a skirt or scarf that has an opening to have access to your legs, butt, and vulva 

• Wear a comfortable bra, that holds your breast without pressing them down

• Have two to three pillows readily available or a body pillow

  
  

These simple actions will elevate your Daily Presence Practice and in times when you dont feel motivated, you're tired of doing the same thing over and over again, and are ready to press snooze remember, your body will feel the difference eventually.

And, if you begin to feel the difference when you dont do the practice... its because its actually working!

You'll begin to feel the difference with how your body moves through the process after just four practices. Yes, four.

The idea of getting up or setting aside 10 minutes daily is where you will feel the resistance disguised as boring or doing too much or even, an inconvenience but once you get up, get in there, get dancing, breathing, touching and writing you'll feel so proud, accomplished, and glad you trained for presence. 

No one goes to the gym initially because they love it, with some exceptions of course, they go because they understand that caring for their body today, doing the hard thing today, repeating the same routine today is for the long term benefits of better quality of life. Better movement. More energy to be with their loved ones and live out their passions. Feeling confident and increasing their life span.

This is the mindset I encourage you to adopt regarding presence as you build the new relationship with your body, and The Daily Presence Practice, as the training ground for that muscle.

Daily Presence begets Sexual Presence.

Your future sensual and sexual self will thank you for the actions you took today, the practice you did quickly but not fully, the boundary you set with your time even when it felt selfish, on repeat, for the long term pleasures of a better quality sex life, the increase of sexual and body confidence, self advocacy, your developed voice and many more.